I have called this special meeting to clarify all the rumors about a great leader of our Party and a very special asset to my important work of transforming our Party at this historic juncture during this epochal moment of great transition to President Barack Obama's "Wonderful World Society," a great labor leader and all around leader of the democratic people's movements---
Bruce Bostick has been one of the mainstays and a pillar of support for our President, Barack Obama.
You have all read on the AFL-CIO blog the posting by our dear friend and Comrade, Tula Connell.
Bruce used this friendly interview with Comrade Tula to explain the circumstances surrounding his recent emotional stress and mental illness resulting in his inability to function in his capacity as a leader of the United Steelworkers Union. Bruce has undergone electric-shock therapy and is presently medicated.
Let me assure you that I have complete confidence in Bruce Bostick and his ability to lead our Party.
Bruce's depression and mental illness is not something we want to put on our masthead but we don't want to duck this problem either. We are fully behind full rights for people with these kinds of problems brought on in their struggles against the Minnesota Problem.
Let me tell you, Comrades; in my struggles against the Minnesota Problem my head has been spinning more than once. My head is screwed on straight now as you can see from my excellent video presentation that was lively and spirited where I took on all comers. I held my own after popping a few Prozacs.
Bruce, share those pills with the rest of the National Board members. You got a big bottle full there. That's it, pass the bottle around.
Jarvis, pop a handful. Scottie, Scottie, don't make a pig of yourself leave a few for others.
There, are we all mellowing out now? This is better. We can put the Minnesota Problem behind us for a few hours.
Take it easy. Read the People's World. Post a few comments in support of my articles.
While you are feeling good read the economic analysis by John Case. Don't read a lot or it will bring you back down into depression. We don't need Tula blabbing to the entire world that none of us can hold down jobs because of our depression.
When you see Bruce moping and looking for agents, please give the teddy bear a big hug; you too, Erica--- give the big guy nice big hugs.
You know, the way I feel now I am confident we have this Minnesota Problem whipped.
Yes, Jarvis, what is it?
Sam, you might want to check out what's being blogged here before you start getting overly confident. We might have to put off changing the Party name at the upcoming convention.
Can someone get me Kamran Heiss or Kamran Heiss, Junior on the secure phone... looks like we are going to need another hand.
Somebody, somebody; let's get a little help over here picking Bostick up off the floor. Take anything he might hurt himself or us with away from him... keyboards, pens, pencils, paper.
Jarvis! Jarvis! no, no... let him keep the razor blades.
Where would this Party be without me to keep all you nut-cases under control.
Make sure no one talks to Tula Connell about the mental illnesses anymore. At least don't tell her you can't work because the Minnesota Problem drove you crazy.
Tula let Bruce off easy this time. She kind of didn't tell the entire story. On the other hand she told enough about the Bruce Bostick story for people to figure out what Bruce meant by saying he had all kinds of emotional problems.
National Chair, CPUSA